In Middle School

In Middle School

in Yarmouth Maine

in the whitest State in America

in denial

in despair

I had learned to assimilate:

to convince myself that I was white

I have pale skin

less chinky eyes

I don’t speak my native tongue

eat Asian food for lunch at school.

In Mandarin class

that spring,

I began to unassimilate:

My teacher fed me during class

ciabatta and chili oil

fresh steam bun with tofu sitting in chili oil

homemade dumpling leftovers.

She fed me a new identity

I learned my people’s language

my people’s food

my people’s culture.

In Middle School

in Yarmouth Maine

I discovered that Asian food

is so much better than Karen’s food

I began to ask my mom for Asian food

“Can we get dumplings at Hong Kong Market?”

“Can we get steamed buns with pork?”

“Can we go to Hong Kong Market more often?”

When I begin bringing Asian food to school for lunch

I am proud.

I watch movies starring Asians

I watch Asian stand-up comedians

I realize Asian people are attractive

Henry Goulding,

Kevin Kreider,

Gemma Chan,

Jamie Chung,

Constance Wu

our strong cheekbones

our sculpted facial structure

our eyes

our dark hair

our diverse range of skin tones.

In Middle School

in Yarmouth Maine

I used to think white was beautiful

but I realize that standard of beauty was wrong.

The most important thing is that I embrace my heritage

my identity

my self.

I am finally proud

proud of my brothers and sisters

who paved the way for other Asian Americans

proud of my heritage

my food

I am finally proud to say “I am Asian American”

proud to say “I am Chinese American.”

I am finally proud

in Middle School

in Yarmouth Maine.

by Zabrina Richards